My Muses held council at my request. I was panicking.
They came forward to assure me that the next assignment would not require the same kind of energy currently bringing me to every cracking shell of my being.
“It will be….. different…..” they say.
“A reprieve in one manner,
no less expansive, growthful, or creatively fullfilling,
but certainly not the same kind of intensity you are experiencing now.”
I sigh, relieved at their prophecy.
They giggle, murmuring as through trying to keep some secret from me.
As if i can’t hear them all holding themselves back from laughing at my inner rebel trying to negotiate for less chores in the temple of my own splendorous imagining.
As if I wasn’t the one who practically begged for the assignments currently guiding this chapter of my walk, let alone the provisions miraculously continuing to weave through these hands in response to this great request of my Soul. In their kindness, they try not to remind me of all of my own prayers being granted.
Yet the words ‘Be careful what you wish for’ are written all over their cheeky ass faces.
“Yes, the next one will be easier my dear, you have our word.
But for now, the Muse you have been calling upon demands ALL of you.”
“All of me?” I plead.
Im exhausted.
Ive given my all to this Muse for years.
and if i’m honest
I’m terrified to keep going……
Trying to wiggle out from under her opulent and disquieting gaze.
“Every last morsel of Soul” they reply, ignoring my whining.
“More than what you believe yourself capable of giving. You must see your self grow beyond this place where you still withhold your loving from the world. For these are very parts of your being as yet untouched by the Sage’s Song you have so emphatically devoted your Holy Creative Love to.
“All your restless longing comes from the innate desire to feel the music of this song
caress every hidden part of you.
To do so, You must be willing to leave it all on the table, Beloved one.
All of it. Every ounce of what is holding you to the ground.
For this is the price of flying”